it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
