yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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