this boner is exhausting
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
