Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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