At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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