Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
