your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
