I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
