My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Randomize
