yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
