My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
