My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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