This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
