You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
