You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
