yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize