You just made me feel so damn special
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
