Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
