Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
