Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
