This girl is more easily done than said...
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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