I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
