his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
