Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
