Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize