I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
