Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Randomize
