i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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