the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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