Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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