this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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