Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
