it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
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