Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
