At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
