I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
