The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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