what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
