Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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