Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
