For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
