He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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