i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
