even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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