If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
