We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
