Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
