don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
