"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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