We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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