I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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