I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Randomize
