what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
This is classic penis vs brain.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
