just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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