I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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