Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
not ubering you a puppy
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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