I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize