yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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