At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
