Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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