can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
