Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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